We’re going to be autopsying the body of the 2016 election for years and may never figure out how we ended up where we are. I sit here at 2:30 a.m. trying to fully absorb the truth of what just happened, that Donald J. Trump is our President-elect.

I keep wondering if I saw the same Donald Trump that 50+ million other Americans saw. I thought I saw an unstable, lying, sexist, man-child with no attention span. I thought I heard someone who spewed enough xenophobic, racist vitriol that the KKK actually endorsed him. I thought I saw someone who had little regard for women and even less regard for the truth, so much so that he often contradicted not only objective news reports, but himself. I wonder if I was gas lighted because who would vote someone like that to be our president?

I don’t need to have people who are LGBT in my life to worry about their well-being under an administration where the newly elect vice president is a fan of conversion therapy and arresting gays who seek a marriage license, but I do.

I don’t need to have a young daughter who may face the devastating decision of whether to terminate an unwanted, or unviable pregnancy to fear for women’s reproductive safety, but I do.

I don’t need to break bread with people who pray to Allah, and wish to come to the US to share knowledge or talents to sense our loss when they are not allowed into our country, but I do.

I don’t need to have a friend who is African-American and fears for her son’s safety in a world where the President-elect has recently called for the death of five innocent black boys (who were convicted and later exonerated) to hate the injustice of that, but I do.

I don’t have to know people from many other countries who watch with deep concern at the lumbering giant that is America to share their fear, but I do.

I don’t want to walk around knowing that over 50 million Americans felt so aggrieved by whatever promises they believe they were denied, that they chose to vote for someone endorsed by the KKK. But I do.

Maybe I’m a bit too sensitive being an Asian woman and all, but America feels a lot less welcoming, never mind that I’ve been a naturalized citizen for the past 45 years and have lived here most of my life.

What will happen under a Trump presidency?

It’s hard to predict. Hell, every news source, except Michael Moore, didn’t see this coming and I think we’re going to be living with the effects for many years. Of course there are some who are sleeping well tonight. They’re glad that they’ve been heard, that Trump is our president and are anxiously awaiting that wall built, those deportations started, those jobs magically brought back from who knows where by whatever means necessary.

Perhaps a revolution is necessary. A spotlight is shining on half in this country—those who voted for Trump, or those equally culpable, the ones who didn’t vote because they couldn’t “hold their nose” and vote for Hillary. They are getting the revolution they asked for, but revolution is always messy. Ask the Russians in 1917 or the Khmer Rouge in 1975. You think you know who will benefit, but then your savior becomes a wild untamable beast. We see you and if nothing else, perhaps the 50 million of us who voted for Clinton, will be kicked out of our complacency. We will be paying attention. We must if we’re going to learn anything from this election.

Here’s a picture of a cute puppy to make you feel better.