Each new year I’m all about streamlining my home. Getting rid of the old and bringing in the new. It would seem so easy. For a year or so I’ve been thinking of getting rid of our piano. It’s heavy, never used and while it makes a convenient buffet-like table in the dining room, the money we could get for it would be enough to buy a couple of airplane tickets.
So why have I been hesitant to sell it? I think it’s because I’ve been telling myself a particular story for years. It goes something like this. I would love to be someone who could play music. Playing the piano–I believe–would make me look kind of cool. I love listening to music, and so by turn I should want to play, right? But learning music, even though I’ve had that opportunity forever, hasn’t been a priority. It goes right up there with gardening and photography. Things I appreciate, however I obviously haven’t pursued. The problem is that I feel like I should. Any respectable homeowner/grownup/creative loves to garden, sew, cook, etc.right? But that just isn’t true and we should be fair to ourselves when it comes to hobbies, embrace what we love, and let the rest go.
I’ve also been telling myself the story that Dylan, who actually plays the piano, would want to when she’s here. But the thing is, she’s so rarely here, and in the few visits home, she’s never touched the thing. I have also listened to Dylan and know that she doesn’t want to move back to Portland after college, so it seems unlikely that the piano would get any regular use, like it did when she was taking lessons.
I think we all do that. We keep things because of a big “what if?” That what if may be a disaster, which is why I need to have a book identifying edible plants in case society collapses thanks to the zombie apocalypse, or that I may have a kid/grandkid/great nephew who wants what I’m saving. There’s also the sentimental story, which is also reason to keep bins of stuff, to remind ourselves of earlier chapters of our life.
But I’m ready to give up on the idea that anyone in my house will be playing the piano. I know I am, because I’m not overly sad or anxious to say goodbye to this idea of who I hoped to be. I have a story about myself that’s realistic, and that self is not a possible musician, but an already existing writer, traveler, baker, and blogger, which is where I want to keep my focus. That said, anyone interested in buying a piano, or guitar, shoot me a message!